Maybe life was not designed to be difficult. Maybe that is a story I can let go of.
I reached a point recently when I questioned my struggle with life, questioned the searching and needing to change to be “good enough”. Was it all an illusion? Was the searching, in itself the root of my life problems? Had the searching taken over from just being, just accepting myself for the flawed and beautiful creation I was?
A shift was occurring. Such a subtle change, it came without any trying, and there in lay the magic of it…when I stopped trying I starting feeling free to be me.
Growing a momentum of its own, learning to be self-accepting unfolded rapidly in my life and starting manifesting amazing fruit. Others became my champions and stepped into supportive roles to help me create and celebrate me. Imagine a room of powerful, beautiful people all celebrating and seeing you as magnificent. This was my reality, when I let go and allowed myself to receive. Others are mirrors to our sense of Self. This was something I understood in a cognitive sense, but it took me time to truly feel and receive it from my heart.
Was it ok to stop trying so hard? If I let go of the struggle, what is left? So much of what I identified with as me was tied up in trying really hard to be good enough. Admitting this was all a story I could shed was difficult for my ego to face. My wounds kept me safe and small, gave me excuses not to do things and not to shine too brightly. Without them I feel naked, authentic and limitless…not a feeling I was used to, yet one I longed for! I felt free, in a way only wild things do. I am free to live the life I want to create, from the heart and not fear. I am free to follow what makes me feel alive, makes me feel blissful.
With no apologies I can now shout….”I am a Medicine Woman, a Witch, Priestess of the Earth…I am Artemis Rising, the Goddess of Wild Things being fully embodied and showing up to be see, heard and felt! Hell Yeah!! Stepping into this heart path is the scariest thing I have ever done!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Marianne Williamson
I realised that this fear-bound keeper of inadequacy that kept me in check was ready to be met and held. She was the holder of shame and old stories, and was my protector in a world not yet ready to receive me. She gave me something to work into, work towards, the gateway into claiming my power. Her divine purpose served, she has unlimited love and energy to give me. I trust that no truth can be hidden for long, and the truth of who we really are is just waiting to be uncovered. I have work to do in the world and I am ready to meet this with my full attention and love.
My plant connections with Mugwort and Yew have been instrumental in creating my unfolding as a woman in her power. Helping me identify stories which were never mine to carry. Mugwort works to illuminate shadow aspects and subconscious parts of self which wish to be heard and integrated. She has shown me parts of my divine feminine power that have been kept secret and locked in shame, allowing them to be integrated and made whole. Her gifts are available to all, but require the ego to step out of the way. The journey to wholeness means facing our deepest fears and most shame-ridden parts…if you are willing to walk that path then Mugwort will guide you to the amazing beautiful held in those disowned parts.
Yew is the Great Cosmic Mother Tree. Keeper of Womb and Dark Mysteries. Her energy is amazing, like the deep throb of Earth breathing! She will hold you in a warm and complete embrace for eternity. I just rest in her twisted dark roots and feel nourished right through to my core. When I work with plants and trees in this way I feel so much bliss, I do need nothing else. Maybe this is what I will offer as my gift to the world?
Maybe life was not designed to be difficult, maybe this is a story I can let go of….
x x x