To my inner Snake, my temptress, my healer my guide…
One of the oldest mystical symbols is that of a snake or dragon devouring its own tail, it is known as Ouroboros. I have been magnetically drawn to this symbol for many years, intrigued by the messages within it. It symbolises Infinity, the Cycle in Nature, Death and Rebirth. It points to Wholeness, Completion and Transformation. For me, it also symbolises the ability of our Larger Selves to fully digest and absorb our Little Selves. By “little” I do not infer any meaning of unworthiness or failing, rather the Self that our childhood, schooling, culture etc tells us we are. Proto-Self, before Metamorphosis.
Some heady/mind based spiritual teachings may call this “death of Ego” and Conscious Awakening. I prefer to walk the more juicy, curvaceous body-based spirit path…and when I say digestion I do actually mean physical and energetic digestion of Old Self. Caterpillar Self enters the Soul Cocoon and emerges Butterfly Self.
Anyway, how did I first come to experience this digestive process? It was 2012 and I was taking some baby steps on my path: learning about meditation, developing an interest in shamanism and healing. Sat at my desk one day, gazing into space, I felt the jolt of a “Serious Soul Message!” One of those out of the blue longings which suddenly takes over your world…. I had to go to Peru! Six months later I was in the Andes, growing organic vegetables, dancing, singing and blown away by the beauty of life. What I didn’t yet know was that my Soul had lined me up for more…it had put me directly on a trajectory to begin my digestion!
Five months into my trip I decided to take part in a series of Ayahausca plant medicine ceremonies. Until now, I was a very cautious and sensible person, fearing the unknown and trying very hard to not lose control. Yet something deep inside was stirring, asking to wake up and I swallowed the thick, bitter medicine and lay down…praying that I wouldn’t die or worse, vomit all over myself. After a while of trying extremely hard to stay “normal” a new feeling came , a feeling of complete acceptance and excitement in what was coming next…
I felt a surge of life intelligence fill my body, a Plant Being begin her healing on me. This other being, a far wiser, knowledgeable and capable being than myself had taken over the controls of my operating system. I just had to to lie back and let her work. Something in me trusted her, something I did not understand then, was ready for her healing…and I surrendered. Then four hours of shaking and digesting began. My whole body shook violently for 4 hours, not a random shaking but a rhythmical, spiraling shaking, undulating, conscious, the contractions of life…the shaking of kundalini awakening. My muscles were rhythmically pulsating, breathing out bubbles of old self, her work was truly amazing to witness.
During my four hours of serpentine digestion I let go of so much. So much that did not belong to me. The clearing of old self was brutally rigorous and equally loving in its completeness.Imagine 10 years of psychotherapy in 4 hours! Such changes, I was to find, take many years of integration.The day after such a huge transformation it is hard to know how to fit this into a normal sense of self. I remember folding my washing, hoping not to be too obvious I had felt Goddess move through me. My ceremony group felt distant, and I heard them crying. Maybe I had experienced too much, but it was my experience so I looked deeper within for answers.And that was my Path.
Kundalini, the serpent energy. The snake within us all. The helical pattern of our DNA hints at her power, but to feel it is something else. A primordial energy rich in cosmic juice! Snake energy is very real and very powerful and one day it will find you and transform you. You may invite it in or it may take you very much by surprise. You can fight it, fear it, try to control it…and yet is keeps on transforming you, shaping you into who you really are. I can promise, you are part snake…let its slippery undulations unravel who you truly are.
Love Clare x x x